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Building Emotional Safety: Proven Ways to Show Your Partner You're Emotionally Available

In the intricate dance of a romantic relationship, emotional availability and safety are fundamental components that can either strengthen or weaken the connection between partners. For those seeking to foster a deeper and more meaningful bond, understanding and actively demonstrating emotional availability is key. In this article, we will explore the many ways someone can show their partner they are emotionally available and provide them with the emotional safety they need to thrive in the relationship.

1. Active Listening

One of the most fundamental ways to show emotional availability is through active listening. Active listening involves being fully present when your partner speaks, without judgment or interruption. Research by Markman and Hahlweg (1993) shows that couples who actively listen to one another report higher relationship satisfaction. This simple practice conveys your willingness to understand your partner's thoughts and feelings.

2. Empathy and Validation

Empathy is a powerful tool for creating emotional safety. When your partner expresses their emotions, validate their feelings by acknowledging and understanding them. Dr. John Gottman's research (Gottman & Levenson, 2000) has shown that couples who validate each other's emotions have more stable and satisfying relationships. By demonstrating empathy and validation, you communicate your commitment to your partner's emotional well-being.

3. Open Communication

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of emotional availability. Dr. Sue Johnson, a renowned couples therapist, emphasizes the importance of open dialogues in creating a safe emotional space (Johnson, 2008). Discuss your thoughts, concerns, and emotions openly, which encourages your partner to do the same. Sharing vulnerabilities strengthens trust and emotional intimacy.

4. Providing Reassurance

Insecure attachment or past emotional wounds can make individuals hesitant to open up. By providing reassurance, you can help your partner feel secure enough to share their emotions. Research by Simpson et al. (1992) suggests that providing reassurance can alleviate feelings of insecurity and build emotional trust in relationships. Ensure your partner knows that you are there to support and understand them.

5. Physical Affection

Physical touch can be a powerful way to express emotional availability. Hugging, holding hands, and cuddling release oxytocin, the "love hormone," which promotes emotional bonding (Uvnäs-Moberg, 1998). Physical affection can communicate love, support, and safety, even without words.

6. Be Present in Times of Need

Emotionally available partners are there when needed the most. In a study by Mikulincer and Shaver (2007), it was found that being present for your partner during times of distress can strengthen the emotional connection and trust in the relationship. Your willingness to support your partner during their emotional struggles fosters a sense of safety.

7. Respect Boundaries

Respecting your partner's boundaries is another essential aspect of emotional availability. In her work, Dr. Brené Brown emphasizes the importance of boundaries in creating emotional safety (Brown, 2010). Honor your partner's limits, and be mindful of their comfort zones. This shows your commitment to their emotional well-being and helps establish trust.


In the intricate tapestry of love and connection, emotional availability and safety play pivotal roles. Demonstrating emotional availability through active listening, empathy, open communication, reassurance, physical affection, presence in times of need, and respecting boundaries can nurture a deep and lasting bond with your partner. These practices not only enhance your relationship's quality but also create a secure emotional space where both partners can flourish. By incorporating these practices, you can foster emotional availability and safety, ultimately creating a stronger, healthier, and more enduring relationship.


  1. Markman, H. J., & Hahlweg, K. (1993). The prediction and prevention of marital distress: An international perspective. Clinical Psychology Review, 13(1), 29-43.

  2. Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(3), 737-745.

  3. Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown.

  4. Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., & Nelligan, J. S. (1992). Support seeking and support giving within couples in an anxiety-provoking situation: The role of attachment styles. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 62(3), 434-446.

  5. Uvnäs-Moberg, K. (1998). Oxytocin may mediate the benefits of positive social interaction and emotions. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 23(8), 819-835.

  6. Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.

  7. Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing.



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