top of page

The Gottman Method in Couples Therapy:

Enhance your relationship in a meaningful way

The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a renowned and evidence-based approach developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This approach is rooted in over four decades of extensive research on couples and relationships. The method aims to help couples strengthen their relationships, resolve conflicts, and improve overall relationship satisfaction by providing practical tools and strategies based on scientific insights.


Key Principles of the Gottman Method:

  1. Sound Relationship House Theory: This model encompasses various elements essential for a healthy relationship, including building love maps, sharing fondness and admiration, turning towards each other, managing conflict, making life dreams come true, creating shared meaning, and establishing trust.

  2. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: The method identifies four negative communication patterns—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—that can erode relationships. Learning to recognize and address these patterns is a central focus.

  3. The Magic Ratio: Research has shown that maintaining a ratio of positive to negative interactions at around 5:1 is a strong predictor of relationship success.

  4. Emotional Flooding and Physiological Soothing: Couples learn to recognize when they or their partners are becoming emotionally overwhelmed and how to soothe themselves and their partners effectively.

  5. Repair and De-escalation: The method emphasizes the importance of promptly making repairs after conflicts and de-escalating tension through effective communication.

Who the Gottman Method is Ideal For:

  1. Couples Seeking Relationship Enhancement: The Gottman Method is well-suited for couples who want to enhance their relationship, improve communication, and strengthen their emotional connection.

  2. Couples with Communication Issues: If couples struggle with communication problems, frequent misunderstandings, or difficulty expressing their needs, the Gottman Method can provide practical communication tools.

  3. Couples Facing Conflict: For couples experiencing recurring conflicts or difficulties resolving issues, the method offers strategies to manage disagreements constructively.

  4. Preventative Approach: The Gottman Method can benefit couples who wish to prevent relationship issues from escalating or recurring, promoting long-term relationship health.


Who the Gottman Method May Not Be Ideal For:

  1. Couples in Crisis: While the method can help address conflicts, it might not be the best initial choice for couples in severe crisis or those dealing with issues requiring immediate intervention.

  2. Individuals Not Ready for Change: If one or both partners are not motivated to engage in the therapeutic process or unwilling to make changes, the method's effectiveness may be limited.

  3. Complex Mental Health Concerns: Couples dealing with severe mental health issues or substance abuse may require specialized interventions before engaging in couples therapy.


  1. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony.

  2. Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2015). 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy. Norton & Company.

  3. Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2015). The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples. W.W. Norton & Company.

  4. Gottman Institute (Official Website):

  5. Gottman, J. M., Coan, J., Carrere, S., & Swanson, C. (1998). Predicting Marital Happiness and Stability from Newlywed Interactions. Journal of Marriage and Family, 60(1), 5-22.

bottom of page